Dear Danny: An Advice Column by Grease’s Danny Zuko
Dear Danny-
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for over 5 years, and it’s great. We are so happy, in love, and we rarely fight. But two of her best friends got married last year, and both have kids on the way in a few months. She says she’s happy with the way things are, but, recently, she’s been mentioning places at which she thinks would be fun to get married, and baby names she’s always loved.
I’m the youngest of 7 kids, and, as an uncle to 5 nieces and 7 nephews, I’ve seen the trials and tribulations of being a parent. Two of my nieces and three of my nephews have special needs, and there have been 4 miscarriages between the 6 sisters and sisters in law. My siblings and their current partners (there have also been 3 divorces) seem exhausted all the time, and my parents would rather have a bullet in the head than have another grandchild.
I want to stay with her, I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but a future with all the possibilities the rest of my family has had to deal with makes me want to run away to a cave. What would you do?
- No Family Man, Boulder, CO
No Family Man-
You remind me a lot of my good pal Kenickie.
When he thought he got Rizzo pregnant, he was scared too. Then, when Rizzo told him that she “got her friend,” sure, he was relieved, but also I think he grew up a lot in the process and, if that “friend” had never arrived, he could have handled fatherhood like a true T-Bird.
What I’d do is set aside a night, make a nice dinner at home, and tell your girlfriend:
Chang chang, changity chang shoo bop!
-DZ
Dear Danny-
A few weeks ago I wrote to you asking advice about jury duty. I said I knew that it was my civic duty to serve, but that I wasn’t ready to take three weeks off of work on some frivolous civil suit. I asked if it was OK for me to lie to get out of jury duty and you responded that I should reply to lawyers’ questions with, [sic] dip da dip da dip do wop di dooby do!
I was initially confused, but I just wanted to tell you, it worked! Thanks!
- Done With Duty, Bellevue, WA
Dear Done With Duty -
All I gotta say is…
Shoo-wop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom!
-DZ
Dear Danny –
My father has advanced stage Alzheimer’s. The past few years have been incredibly rough, as he’s lost all memory of who we are. We want to make the rest of his time on earth peaceful, but, in truth, he is just a shell of the person we knew and loved as “dad.” We’re really struggling with what we should do, not only for him, but for the entire family.
-Struggling Son
Dear Struggling Son-
Man, my old man was a piece of work too.
My advice would be to do what I did: Jump in your ride, flip him the bird and yell:
Boogy Boogy Boogy Boogy Shooby Do Wop She Bop
Or maybe not. I ain’t that great with bein’ all emotional. Lemme ask Sandy.
-DZ
Dear Danny-
I’m a 1st Grade teacher at a public school in a low income neighborhood. My students (32 in all) are heavily majority minority. There is one white child, a boy, who’s family has moved into this neighborhood specifically so their child would be exposed to children and families of different backgrounds. In observing his behavior, however, he seem to exhibit an air of superiority over the other children, and has become a real problem.
When I mentioned it to his parents at our parent teacher conference, they didn’t believe me, and even threatened to report me. I’m having a difficult time getting through to them, and I know that if I bring it to my superiors, my report will go on the child’s file, which I desperately want to avoid. Any thoughts?
- Troubled Teacher, Brooklyn, NY
Troubled Teacher-
My friends and I are no strangers to dealing with the problem of trying to fit in.
I tried to become a jock, Sandy tried to become a Pink Lady, Frenchy tried to go to beauty school…we all want to be something different.
My advice to you on this is simple:
Wop Baba Lubop A Wap Bam Boom!
-DZ
